Suffering from a loss of confidence as a rider

I bought my first horse last April, she was a black cob age 13 years old. one day in June we went out hacking and a speeding driver drove into the back of my horse and ripped her leg off. we were thrown into the air and i landed on my knees. I broke my sternum and my nose. my heart was ireegular and spent three died in hospital.. Effy my horse has to be shot at the scene...

What a shame you are suffering with your nerves after a few bad falls. One of the best ways i find not to be nervous is to learn to fall properly, this way it doesnt hurt so much, so your not worrying about hurting yourself. This is one of the first things jockeys are taught at racing school. Secondly try and find someone to help you who instills confidence in you, and makes you feel anything is possible, rather than someone who puts you down all the time. Its also helps to have a good bond with your horse, so if there is a friend or riding school pony who u always get on well with see if you can borrow him or her untill you are feeling more confident. Also check that your own horses back, teeth, saddle and hooves arnt hurting as 9 times in 10 these are the causes of naughty behavior. hope these tips help and you are feeling more confidentsoon.

that´s a real shame bbubble. if it is something that you would like to get back in to then it might be worth trying to find some help with your fears. canter can be scary but if you have a good teacher and the right horse to learn on then it doesn´t have to be so bad. when i first went to my new riding school i was terrified to canter but i worked for several months with one pony, who was a real gem and now i´m much more confident about cantering, especially on him :-)

i lost my confednce rinding when ii tried to cantre! fell of once the first time i tried but then i just kept falling of so i have never been riding since or stroked a horse really im to scared :( LOL

some really interesting stories here and some good ideas too - Abigail, i would definately be interested in hearing more about your friend´s hypnosis, this is something i´ve been considering but don´t know where to go to as i don´t want to just pick someone out of the local paper! where did your friend find the person treating her? is there a list of registered hypnotists or something? do you know whether the hypnotist has an interest in horses too as i´m not sure if that is necessary for them to really understand the problem?

Rachel - dear god woman...you must have had nerves of steel! well done you for keeping with it and being determined to find the right horse for you...am so glad you have finally done so.

Scoop - personally i don´t feel like a riding school should push you THAT much! when i first started at my new school - after the awful one- i explained what had happened to me and they put me on a really safe, 14.2 cob called BJ. i was terrified to even canter him at first. i stuck with him for about 3 months in all, building my confidence slowly. he´s the perfect pony really - totally safe, not spooky at all, and you need a bit of leg so you don´t feel like you are going to be tanked off with..however, once i got the hang of him i could work him in an outline and after a few months we were practicing dressage tests in my lessons. i then moved on to other horses but only when i felt ready. admittedly, my instructor now is pushing me slightly to ride the more advanced horses, scarlet in particular. she knows i´m fearful of spooky horses and i know scarlet is like this, however, my instructor is also confident that technically, i can ride and control her and sit to whatever she throws at me (within reason!) but its mentally that i have a problem. i have therefore had 2 lunge lessons on scarlet. each time i have had a small amount of time off the lunge as well. the first time i lunged first and then had 20 minutes off the lunge. even though she had been fine on the lunge i was physically shaking when it came to riding off it to the point that i nearly got off when asked to trot! my instructor said that i had to trust her, that she wouldn´t be asking me to ride scarlet if she thought i couldn´t do it, and that if she felt scarlet was in a particularly spooky mood she would put me on another horse, she also said i had to trust my own abilities. so i guess the thing is, you do need to be pushed a bit but only when you feel ready. and only if you trust your instructor! i totally trust mine. she knows my fears and ability and she knows how far to push me so i progress but not so far that i´m terrified. if you don´t truly trust your instructor, or the horses at the yard, then i would consider changing schools - i wish i had done it long before i did as i probably wouldn´t be nearly as nervous now if i had!

I think your all very brave - riding can be very scary. I dont ride but Ive a lot of friends who do and one of my best friends recently went to a hypnotist to get over her fear, she has had three sessions and is already feeling much better, have any of you thought of trying that?

I can totally sympathise and understand where your coming from and many other´s too on this post!.

I´ve been riding since I was knee high to a grass hopper and when we are young,our fear´s our not realised and we are reckless and think of ourselves as Frankie Dettorri but in Thelwell disguises (LOL).

Whatever pony it was,it had to be fast,lean and a little spirited for me...ponies that plodded are were always on automatic pilots never did much for me and so when I was asked to help break in a youngster..I was very keen and more than happy.

Nomad was black,with a small white star and a white fetlock (yes just like a smaller version on Black Beauty)..he also has a bit of mean streak in him and flew like the wind BUT he had a nasty habit of putting his head down when cantering or galloping and raising his heel´s,so casting you off at flying speed!.

It was a hot summer´s day and I was riding out in a short sleeved blouse..the ride had gone well and we were heading home after a 2 hour hack.....as we came to the forest glade,we usually cantered fast down along this narrow and bendy dust track..off we went and as usual Nomad did what we came to expect from him....his head went down in full flight and up came his heel´s.....I flew off and out of the saddle so fast..that I was over his head and flung into the path AHEAD of this galloping animal who was heading straight towards me...I instinctively rolled myself up into a ball and rolled my way down the bank out of his way..one hoof clipped my arm but it would have been alot worse,if I´d just stayed there.

I pulled my self out of the briars and nettles and was rather winded and very shaken...I dusted myself off and the other´s had caught up Nomad and helped me to remount on this steaming,snorting animal...we rode back and apart from feeling sore,bruised,cut up,stung and achey...I was OK...or so I thought.

That fall left me with a seriously damaged left hip that even now,play´s me up and causes me alot of discomfort and poor posture but with the help of Kinesiology,is kept in check regulary...but that particular fall also left me with a severe lack of confidence of doing anything faster than a trot and I often made excuses not to canter when out on ride´s in groups.....to cut a long story short...I do now canter again and I do enjoy it but with my heart condition also...I have to take great care that I do not fall off,so as to avoid having an attack with my complaint...so unless I´m riding Chiffy and going up a small hill,I don´t canter and prefer to trot or jog along instead.

I´m no longer that wild Thelwell child and I certainly no longer see myself as a Frankie Dettori (LOL)!.

What a wonderful post! I too am having fears about riding again. I haven´t ridden properly since I was a child, I had my first pony when I was very young but at 6 I was already out hacking with adults, unfortunately the docile pony my parents thought they were buying turned out to be quite a handfull! One day Max threw me across the indoor school when refusing to jump (he was very stubborn when he wanted!) and I ended up with a brocken collar bone and decided Ballet was a lot safer!!! (Now a retired Ballet Dance and many op´s later I´m not sure that was the case!) So I packed in riding and as I´ve got older have become fearful of horses, I honestly think if I was small enough to ride a pony I´d be fine, but the size of a horse terrifies me. My husband booked me a riding lesson for my birthday a few years back and surprised me by driving me to the stables - once I realised what was going on I burst into tears! He had spoken to the school in the New Forest about how nervous I was but after a few times round on the lunging lead the instructor said I was fine by myself and to get on with it. Unfortunately a few seconds later children in the yard screaming and a foul in the neighbouring field spokked my horse and I had to pleed the instructor to put me back on the lunging lead. Had I not had that bad experience I think I may be more confident now. I have been thinking of finding either a rescue centre that could do with help mucking out or a riding stable, I think just being around a yard and watching other people ride of even helping with children riding would help my confidence. If anyone knows of anywhere that would help me regain my confidence around the New Forest area that would be great. I just wish I had Rachelle´s strength x

I´ve not had any accidents as bad as yours Rachelle, so I admire you for continuing to search for the right horse for you! I identify strongly with what Sarah is saying - my confidence completely went recently as I had several falls one after the other - one school horse has now bucked me off three times. Where I find it difficult to deal with confidence issues is to do with how much I allow the riding school to push me to ride particular horses when I don´t believe I can cope with the ways they may behave. During my confident periods, I am able to tell myself that if a horse bolts or spooks I´ll be able to deal with it, but right now I am very jumpy and find that I´m often very tense. However, if I don´t allow myself to be pushed to riding a little past my limits, I may never get my full confidence back.... How much do all of you think you should push yourself to ride horses you feel some fear about?

i do sympathise with you its hard when horses are in your blood your bitten by the bug,and been terrified by an incident you feel torn both ways because you dont want to give up something you love and [some of us live for!]i hope my story will inspire you too overcome your fears.........4yrs ago i owned a 16.2 very green sport horse we were hacking from a lane onto a main road when something scared her behind she took off at the speed of light towards the traffic,then even worse after a few pulls on her reins the cheek peice snapped,bit fell out frightened even more and entangled in reins and bridle,and me with no steering fell off at about 30mph onto concrete road!i had head, arm injurys and a broken back!!i tried to ride her again 5months later but she tensed up and knew i was nervous,i had to sell her.after 6mnths of moping around thinking about the fun and amazing rides iv had since i was 9 and never fell off til i did that!im now 37,i plucked up the courage to look again for a horse.i drove two hours to ride a chestnut called cass that the owner assured me was very well schooled,when going to canter it turned into a bucking rodeo throwing me up and down hard in the saddle,compacting my spine,later resulting in a prolapsed disc,hospitalised and nearly 12months of excruciating pain and phisio appointmnts later i STILL wanted to ride!I KNOW WHAT YOURE THINKING!!!!WELL i then bought an x competition horse 14yrs old perfectly schooled and thought lovely a been ther done everything guy with still a bit of go in him as he was always kept fit!i had him a year had some great but somtimes hairy rides as he was quite a fast horse and never wanted to walk anywhere!then one breezy day a bag blew into his back legs and he took off [again down a main road!]resulting in me AGAIN ending up in hospital with various injurys and a broken ankle!i sold him because he was just too much for me as a hacking horse!not one to give up i finally have a georgeous horse of my dreams!a very safe steady cob called freddie i took a long time getting the right horse that was RIGHT for me and my riding ability and requrements.i think this is vital when choosing a horse and no matter how much you love one if you are a bit scared of them you will never be 100% confident that they wont do it again,and they know!!!DONT GIVE UP THE DREAM!its an honour and a privallage to own and ride these amazing beautiful animals!