What have you done to cope with your loss?

I have recently lost my baby girl my (cat). We had 13 wonderful years with her and shared lots of fabulous memories. I was and still am in love with her. She was treated like a true princess all of her life. She made our house full of love and we always looked forward to her greeting us at the door or scampering down the path, rabbitting away if we were late. Sometimes she cudnt wait for us 2 get out of the car so she wud jump on2 the bonnet and stare at me through the windscreen, as I was locking up she wud be on the roof... awww. I have lots of very precious footage of her and loads of pics too. She was a right little character n she knew every single word we sed. She helped us through the loss of our mothers and our little girl. She always knew wot to do she wud look into our eyes be right close up2 your face and shake her head back and to. I told her daily how special she was and how much we loved her. We had a beautiful connection, nothing will ever replace that. What I wud give now for her to climb on my knee for cuddles and to be stroked. I miss her soo much, my heart is breaking x
Cath

Jaffa sounds like an absolute diamond. I love to hear about pets that have that much personality.xx

I recently lost my special boy jaffa he was with me through some really bad times when i lost lots of family members and due to panic attacks brought on from the griefi couldnt go out much.Jaffa was a gorgeous chocolate dobermann and he hated going for walks he just loved sitting and cuddling.He meant more than anything or anyone to me he was my soulmate he knew what mood i was in just by me walking in the room or what i was going to do before i done it he was very special.When i lost my irish setter which always done something silly with his mouth i came home and just sat on my bed crying and jaffa sat by me and when i looked at him he was doing the silly thing with his mouth what he had never done before and from that day on he did it often to me.When i had him put to sleep i just didnt cope didnt eat just sat on my bed crying and crying for two days,then i just had this instinct to look for another dobermann but not a chocolate one as i just couldnt everyone i see i knew i would compare,i went through lots and just kept going back to the most expensive one which no one could understand.When i phoned for him they told me he had already been in four diffrent homes and if i didnt get him that weekend he would be put to sleep so we went and got him.I dont compare him as he is totally diffrent he and nothing will ever replace or heal the hurt but he is so active he helps me get out everyday which is helping me and everyone around me have noticed how much better i am at the least he has five walks aday which are all half hour or more long.Im finding bonding with him hard still as hes not had any interaction with people before but we will get there.

I found a few old photos of Scarlett (put to sleep age 18 ten months ago) and began to remember her as a much younger cat. I also adopted another cat from Cats Protection about 5 months after Scarlett´s death - knowing that I was giving a new cat a good home helped and did not feel like I was trying to replace Scarlett - the two cats are very different.

You never forget them they will remain forever in your heart xx

It is really hard letting go sometimes. Even now almost 6mnths after it happened i still forget that cocoa is not with us and talk about her like she is still alive. Everytime i go to my mums i still expect her to come running to the door. It was very hard to deal with as i am 22 and cocoa was 18 so i had grown up with her. She was my best pal and so loyal to our family and other pets. She will be sorely missed as long as we all are living, but hopefully in time it will get easier. The hardest times are when i forget she is gone and then get reminded by my sometimes insensitive boyfriend that she is dead. I think i may be in denile a little.

We have Missy buried in our garden were she loved to laze the day away.
She has a plaque & special red rose bush in a stone planter to mark the area in which she now sleeps xxxx

It´s devastating losing a pet & the house feels so empty everything & everywhere you look reminds you of that loss.
When we lost Missy i kept seeing her in shadows & popping up in photos that i had never noticed her being in.
She was a sweet little black cat & nothing will replace her but i am lucky to have Holly & Hobie my two Bedlingtons they keep me focused & make me smile everyday.xxx

Thats why we went for them Charlene - a good move as it turns out as we are now moving! Cocoa sounds similar to my tabitha she had a fight with a dog lol. Its good that the owner was remorseful i just hope the shock makes them more responsible now.

I really like the idea of the sleeping cat statues, because if you ever move you can take them with you. I think memory boxes are great to, when my mum read out all the memories that people had put in ours for cocoa it made me have a big smile on my face just remembering all the funny little things she did. She was such a character and so feisty. She attacked two dogs in her lifetime, trying to protect kittens we had. I wish that some people would be more responsible with thier pets. My mum did not report the lads walking the rotweiler as the owner of it was visibly shook up from what happened and was very remorseful. She has however warned him that if she sees him walking the dog without a muzzle again she will be reporting him.

Poor cocoa thats awful, well i´ve lost fish, rabbit, dogs and cats but i´ll just tell you about most recent - the cats. Well both boys were cremated and their ashes are in 2 sleeping cat statues we also have a memory box and after the first died i set up a group on here. I can really understand people getting a new pet straight away but we already had enough lol.

thankyou all for sharing. I think that dedicating an area of your garden is a beautiful idea, my mum lost her cat cocoa. She was very old and we all were expecting that she would leave us soon and were prepared for it. The awful thing was that instead of passing peacefully like we thought she would, she was attacked and shook to death by a rotweiler being walked by some very irresponsible teens. After 18 years of life i hoped it would have ended in a more peaceful way, but thats how it goes sometimes. My mum buried her and found a statue of a cat that looks exactly like her that now sits where she is at rest, its almost like she is still there. RIP cocoa. xx

i cryed over tiger and put his photos in frames

Ziggy used to love one of our bushes in the garden which was were we had buried our other dog Lassie (they never met each other) he would lay underneath it when he was a puppy and as he got older he could only lay next to it and chew it some, so after we had him cremated we decided we would put him to rest next to lassies bush and planted a rhoddedendron plant with him, Its violet and so far its growing well. I had a lovely plaque made and often go out and say hi, as for coping with him being gone i dont think i have very well, someone told me to go right out and get another dog but ziggy made such an impact in my life i could not do that just yet. I work in a shop and anyone who comes in with a dog now i have to go over an say hello just so i can get a pair of eyes looking at me and a wagging tail, it makes my day to see that, that is what i so desperately miss.

Well some people have actually called me callous, because I got Houlty the same week as I lost my mickey, The truth is, the house felt absolutely awful without a dog, it was just too quiet, too "still" i knew i couldn´t have mickey back as much as i loved him, so we made the decision to get another dog, and Houlty was a great comfort to both of us, that was the only way that i could come to terms with losing mickey because he was so special, and of course my affection passed on to Houlty, not that mickey was any less special of course but he helped us to cope with the horrible feeling of loss, he is a true star as are Anna and Merlin too. xx

i got home from work to find my cat charlie on the stairs so as we opened the door she was the first thing we saw, i yelled the house down, begged my OH to do somethin but obviously he couldnt, anyway we buried her in the garden and have made that area charlie´s garden, we have planted 3 roses and light candles throughout the year. miss her terribly but still go to her garden and hav a chat wiv her, sometimes our other cats follow and sit in the area keeping her company

I have lost dogs and cats and rabbits and other asstd little animals when i was a child and i can remember the grief and also the joy of having another pet to love, as an adult my animals are my babies and i have lost 4 cats in total. no one can stop or alter the grieving process, it is a tribute to the animal we have lost but it is true that time is a great healer and gradually we start to emerge from that black hole. I was devastated when I lost Tigger, it was a big shock to the system
when I had to let him go, I coped by talking about him and looking at his pics, I also had him cremated, something which I have never done before and also had a pic done of him. I still miss his face now, well all of him, but I have my other cat, Woody and he is a blessing, although there was a time when he couldn´t comfort me. I also have a little rabbit who is adorable. One day I will have another or a few others, I would say you know when the time is right to bring another into your heart. If I had had only 1 pet I think I might have had another 1 by now, who knows!!

Thankyou ellen, it sounds like you had a really hard time after you lost Toby, but i am really glad you kept Kelly. Im sure no-one could have loved her as much as you.x

When my beloved Toby died I already Kelly she was about 6 months to his 13 years and after he died I was so upset over losing him that I could not bear to have her around me so I tried to find her a good home, Kelly is a GSD and it was difficult to find someone but I did and when it came to the day he was going to collect her I took her for a last walk and waited at the front door, she seemed to know what was happening as when the car turned up she turned and just wrapped her paws round my legs and howled, a noise like i have never heard before, then she ran back inside and found one of Toby´s toys and bought it to me and again clung to my legs with this toy in her mouth, I just sat and cried and told him that I was keeping her, after that was the most amazing, funny, frustrating and very annoying 11 years of my life, I could write a book (as could we all) about all the things that went on but needless to say I love Kelly more than I could have ever imagined, each pet will bring different qualities and meaning to our life and each pet will have aspecial place in our hearts for all time, I still miss Toby but as Kelly got older she has filled a bigger pieve of my heart.

What you did is great. The main reason i set up this club was just to help people cope but also to spread the messge to people that have lost thier pets, that the best thing they could do for the pet they have lost is to make a bit more room in thier hearts to give another animal a home. Its not replacing the pet you loved so much, its just creating a new, special relationship. I can almost guaruntee that the relationship you have with your new pet will be completely different and individual. Special in its own way. Thankyou for finding it in your heart to give another animal a chance at life.

i´ve only lost small furries in the past - i don´t mean only as in, they mean less, i just mean that these are the only types of animals i´ve had that have passed away. so for me i usually cuddle their cage mates a bit more in the days after one of them has passed. i leave it a few days before cleaning out the cage, just to let the smell of them fade slowly. i find the first cage clean after loosing an animal to be quite difficult, but also quite theraputic in a way.
i know it sounds horrible, but i usually end up getting a new furry soon after loosing one too. it is not meant to be a replacement for the one that i have lost but i find it does go some way to helping me cope with the loss. i also feel that my animals would want me to rehome another rescue once they have left me, so that i can help that animal in the same way that i helped the one that has passed on :-) its like a little cycle of caring and helping. my animals know i love them and they know that they have been lucky to have found a nice home after the trauma of their previous lives, and i do believe that they wish that for other animals out there suffering too.