Please think before you use these words!

Hi mate well the stupid T...... s have not got a clue ... keep your chin up mate xxxx

Thanks Margaret and Im so glad Ian is happy and enjoys his computer dont they just open up a whole new world for people.One thing that really got me was people thinking my daughter was stupid she was so qualified not that it did her much good but she loved studying like she had something to prove anyway Ian sounds lovely and happy and a credit to you speak soon xxx

Liz, I really feel for you. To lose a child at any age is something you will never recover from, but to know that she had a bad time during her short life is even worse. Thankfully Ian went to a special school where there were others like himself. I resisted every effort to "merge" him into a so called normal school, and he never realised he was any different to anyone else until he got older. He is a very happy young man, brilliant with computers even though he cannot read a word, and absolutely genuine through and through. So are his friends. Take care.

Margaret it really annoys me to some people can be really horrible they are just ignorant I work with elderly and disabled people both my children had disabilities and at age twenty six my daughter died suddenly from hers she had years of abuse through school and into adulthood she had a severe form of epilepsy and thats all people saw, not that she was pretty, very intelligent a decent kind and caring person they only saw her illness and some made her life a misery.I dont think you are being over sensitive as a mother it hurts when someone insults your child especially adults who should know better.

It is not that anyone has called him these things, it is just the way these words have crept into the volcabulary as accepted words that annoys me. Of course, if you look on census records for 100 years ago, in institutions, the inmates were often described on the records as idiot or moron. These words we all use all the time nowadays, but they are far enough back in history that they are not still used to describe the mentally retarded. Perhaps I am being over sensitive, but I feel it is too soon to be putting these modern phrases into the language. Once, when my eldest daughter was only eight, she had a schoolfriend round for tea, who referred to her brother as a spastic. Amber told her very firmly that if she didn´t like her brother she could go home! At eight years old, that showed exactly where she was coming from. I was very proud of her. Needless to say that child was never invited again.

There is a lot of people in this world who are absolute wombats, but hopefully, many many more who wouldn´t dream of attacking anybody in this way. It is appalling that idiots cannot use the few brain cells they do possess to spread happiness and not abuse innocents. I have brought my two lads up to respect all living things, people and animals alike. When they were younger their childminder had a long-term foster downs syndrome young man living with them, he had serious disabilities (blind, could not speak and needed a wheelchair). I felt it did my boys a hell of a lot of good to realise from a very young age that we´re not all from the same mould in life, but respect and kindness to ALL should be given and expected as a matter of course. I would hang anybody up by their n*ts if I heard the c**p that has been given out to your lad. There again, they are obviously spineless - so they´re probably deficient in that department as well!! ;-)

Ian used to go to Woolworths a lot before they closed down. Even all those different teenagers working in there knew him by name and he knew them too. They were all very good. He really misses Woolworths!

were in manchester but she likes to go to diffrent places to shop very rarely she goes somewhare on her own ,, if its futher out someone will go with her in our local area they are more understanding so she goes thare on her own but she wont travel on buses cos she gets confused , it takes ahell of a lot for me to keep quiet i feel like hittin some ppl they really piss me off

i agree margaret, i find those terms offensive, my wife maria has worked with mentally challenged adults and children for over 10years. she started with adults at a group home and then got a job with a school district working with children. she HATES those terms.. it makes her go off her rocker when she hers those terms used. and she will stop what she´s doing and confront whoever made the coment.

Whatever sort of area do you live in? Ian only goes in shops where they know him if he is on his own, but the shopkeepers are all extremely helpful. I even had the toy shop owner phone me to ask if it was okay for him to spend £96 on a remote control jeep, because he knew he had only bought one the week before! All he really wanted was a new remote because he had broken it. I have had a few times were he has given over his card when he has been with me and they have just shoved the pin machine at him without reading the screen. Then I have to explain that he has to sign and doesn´t use a pin number. Even had the girl in Argos go and ask the manager if it was okay, which really made me mad as it says it on their screen. How do they think blind people manage for god´s sake. I have been very lucky, I suppose. Even at the railway station they will always help. Sometimes there is only the ticket machine available but they see it is Ian and someone will come and take the money for him. I am afraid I would end up thumping someone if they treated him like they seem to your girl.

thats how it is for us margaret ,, the person i care for is an adult but she has the mental age of a child shes perfectly able to walk , she has a speach inpediment but when she gets confused and asks shop keepers if she got the right change the reply is useally " what are you thick or some thin " i have to keep my cool and expain about things to them not always easy

Ian looks like everybody else, so I have never had that problem. I have, however, been out shopping with one of his friends who he had over, a girl with downes syndrome. Yes, people did stare, which I found quite appallingly ignorant, but I wouldn´t cause a fuss for fear of upsetting her. A lot of special needs children and adults for that matter, do not realise they are different, and they don´t need it pointed out to them.

I have a nephew who is a "special" child he is 10 years old but his mental age is that of a 4 year old he does have a very good brain & loves building things with his Lego I too have seen the way so called adults stare at him when he is in his pushchair (a special pushchair buggy) if I am out with him in his pushchair & these adults stare at us I yell very loudly "would you like a photo" then everyone else start staring at them & then yell "its not nice being stared at" which make them walk away very fast x

That is appalling! Ian, my son, thankfully has never been called names and people in general are very good and understanding. It is when people use these words and don´t realise the hurt they are causing that annoys me so much. They have become everyday words, a bit like people who call all vacuum cleaners Hoovers, really. Ian gets upset and that is enough for me.

finally someone says it i am a carer i look after someone who is mentally disabled ,, young girls are the worst for calling each other spastic and retard
it annoys me how often ppl use thease words ,,,, the person i carefor had abuse hurled at her from a coward of a man passing in a car he leand out of the window and yelled " you f--king spastic you stupid t--t " i was fumeing the person i carefor was innocent she didnt do any thing to deserve that no one deverves abuse shouted at them if he had been walking past i wouldnt have been able to stop my self from decking him ,,,